Hearing funny dialogues between two persons or funny conversation between two people is good ways to keep you laugh. In this busy world, people run here and there for making money. End of the day they felt very tired and stressed. In such situations, these kinds of humor dialogues and funny conversations surely change their mindset and keep them energetic.
Mostly, we came across these funny dialogues between two persons at schools, colleges, universities, hospitals, offices, party with friends, etc. Especially, the funny conversations between two humor friends are awesome. Through this post, I’m going to line up more than 25 new and latest funny dialogues between two persons in English. So, go through till the end if you are ready to laugh out loud!
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Funny Dialogues between Two Persons in English
Two terrorists having discussion in a bar,
The waiter asks them what the discussion was about.
Terrorist: We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.
Waiter: Why a donkey?
Then one terrorist says to the other, “See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people”.
David: I love her so much
Richard: She’s just 14 and you are 28
David: Age is just a number
Richard: And jail is just a room
Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit?
Girl: Old man.
Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the BRAKE.
Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.
Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?!
Boy: Hey, you look so beautiful
Girl: Aww. Thank you. I don’t know what to say.
Boy: Just lie something, like I did.
Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.
Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.
A policeman arrives.
Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car!
Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off.
Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!
Girl: OMG, You look so much better when you don’t wear your glasses
Boy: Well, You look better when I don’t wear my glasses too.
Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop
Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop.
Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.
Interviewer: Do you speak English?
Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India
Applicant: Three to five times a week.
Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female?
Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig.
Interviewer: Holy cow!
Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss.
Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile?
Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style!
Interviewer: Oh dear!
Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.
Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students over here!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?
Little Johnny: No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone.
New Teacher: All students introduce your name and hobbies
1st boy: My name is Jack and my hobby is watching the moon.
2nd boy: My name is Dave and hobby is watching the moon.
3rd boy: My name is Patrick & my hobby is watching the moon.
(All boys told their different names but the hobby was same)
New Teacher: Good, all boys have the same hobby, Now its girl’s turn.
1st girl: Hi, my name is moon…
Relative: Son, what’s your age?
Relative: it’s an age of marriage, son. When will you marry?
Guy: Very soon. And what’s your age, uncle?
Guy: it’s an age of death, uncle. When will you die?
Teacher: Can you see God?
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Teacher: Then there is no God
Student: Ma’am can you see your brain?
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Student: Okay! No comments!!
Son: Give me money for gym
Mom: Will you become John Cena by going to the gym?
Son: Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?
Boy: hey babe can I show you something?
Girl: sure babe
Boy: can I show this in your room?
Boy: can we close the window?
Boy: can you close the door?
Girl: okay (grasping)
Boy: can you turn off the lights?
Girl: sure (even grasping)
Boy: grab my hand
Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe?
Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark
Wife: Look at that drunk guy
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him
Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.
John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come?
Bro: ok John, but why so many people?
John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.”
Bro: Wait, what?
John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry?
Harry: Yes John
John: Nice. Where is she from?
Harry: From a different nation
John: Oh really? Which nation?
Harry: From my imagiNATION.
Boy 1: Can a woman make you a millionaire?
Boy 2: Yes! If you are a billionaire!!
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of liters per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of liters per day.
Interviewer (naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Interviewer (now annoyed): Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?
Farmer: Because, the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine.
Mom: Do you think I’m a bad mom Jimmy?
Son: Mom, my name is Jack!
Einstein: I will give you a question, and you will give a question to me as well. If you can’t answer my question, you will give me $1, and if I can’t answer your question, I will give you $1000
Mr. Bean: Okay
Einstein: (Gives Mr. Bean a hard question)
Mr. Bean: (Give $1 to Einstien)
Einstein: Okay, now your turn.
Mr. Bean: What is the animal that has 4 legs, and when he crosses a street he only has 2 legs, and when he goes back, he has 5 legs?
Einstein: (Thinking very hard) I give up. I can’t answer that. (Einstein gives Mr. Bean $1000)
Einstein: But what animal is that, Mr. Bean?
Mr. Bean: (Gives $1 to Einstein)
Wife was in the ICU
Doctor: It seems she is in a coma
Husband: Please save her doctor. She is just 30
Suddenly the ECG started beeping, a hand moved and her lips mumbled.
And she spoke: I’m not 30, I’m just 29.
Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle
William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light
Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?
Interviewer: Introduce yourself
Boy: My father’s name is Laughing
Boy: My mother’s name is Smiling
Interviewer: Are you kidding?
Boy: No, he’s my cousin and I’m Joking.
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These are my new and latest collection of very funny dialogues between two persons in English. I’m pretty sure, at least some of these dialogues made you laugh. Now it’s your turn. Write the funny dialogues or conversations you came across in your life in the comment box below. If it’s really funny, I surely add that up with this post. If you like this post, share it with your friends and family by clicking one of the social share buttons below.